Humor

Midterm Crunch

Feature Screenplay

To accommodate the swelling ranks of fallen public officials, an exclusive institution has risen in the shadow of the Beltway. At the Congressional Correctional Facility, the amenities are four star and partisanship has been replaced by affinity groups (tax evaders, bribe takers, cheaters). Undeterred by a minor inconvenience like incarceration, one of the pampered residents, a former Brooklyn congressman, is already campaigning to reclaim his old seat. On the eve of his departure, he is informed of a rather unwelcome community service requirement: teaching high school civics at his alma mater.

Reluctantly reporting to school, he interprets teaching civics as enlisting his class in campaigning, spars—and flirts—with the principal, and is sentenced to time in the Detention Bar & Lounge. With the launch of the student government election, he can’t resist inserting himself into the increasingly competitive three-way presidential race, where the fundraising activity may call for campaign finance reform and the fed-up principal is expressing totalitarian tendencies. Recognizing innate political ability, he aligns himself with the one candidate who has a substantive platform, offering campaign advice and fundraising assistance. She proves a quick study and is soon negotiating deals to expand her coffers.

As the high school election heats up, the congressional race is also tightening, with the opponent, a first-time candidate and businessman of questionable dealings, strategizing about drawing his own district. Though immersed in both races, the protagonist still finds time for extracurricular activities, pursuing not only the principal, but also the social studies department chair (his former teacher and one-time crush).

The arrival of election day produces unusual results for both contests including a case of extreme gerrymandering that creates fractional districts, the formation of a coalition government and the birth of the Independent Republic of Brighton Beachstan.

2023 ScreenCraft Comedy Competition Quarterfinalist

Praise for Midterm Crunch: MIDTERM CRUNCH has many strengths, but one of the biggest highlights is that this script is legitimately funny. The author has done an impressive job making politics feel relatable and humorous, through the use of rapid-fire jokes and a cast of comedic supporting characters. Great work.

Now for the fun stuff…

My professional pursuits may be serious, but I’ve always been drawn to comedy—the lighter side, not the dark variety. And it’s through screenwriting that my natural voice and personality—witty, sardonic, quirky—emerge.

The Pijilante

Short Screenplay

After a long and lucrative career, The Pijilante, NYC’s tough-talking and unflappable pigeon private investigator, is becoming disillusioned. He has spent years exposing corruption and unethical corporate practices—in the process accumulating a nice little nest egg—but has he even made a dent? There’s still so much crap going on in the city. He is contemplating cutting back, but his services are very much in demand and he doesn’t have a succession plan in place. The early bird special may have to wait.